Seventeen Fired Employees Fill up Elevator

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Elevator filled with ex-employees of local internet company.

Seventeen recently fired employees filled up a local elevator today. The employees lost their jobs at a local internet company (who could've imagined that?) - and all were rushing down to the bottom level of their building, making their way to lunch.

The mood in the elevator was somber, but a few jokes were cracked at the seventh floor.

The firing comes after a year and a half of mis-management and ego driven decisions that left most of the employees "sick," and some "tired" of coming to work each day.

One employee, who agreed to talk with the condition of renaming nameless, said: "Dude, that elevator ride was HEINOUS!" He mentioned that some people stared at the floor, while others seemed to concentrate on the floor indicator.

Joke is cracked near the seventh floor.

Spirits remained high, though, as many workers were granted a half hour at the end of the day to "use any way they wanted." Some used it on Napster, and some used it to raid the company fridge.

One employee took a stand at the company's last meeting, saying what was on his mind, which included the following classic lines:

Employee, directed at the VP in charge: "Well, your resume will be a little longer, because in addition to your 14 years in the internet industry, you can also put that fact that you single handedly demoralized and shut down not only a whole office, but the whole Latin American operation."

VP in Charge (with dumbfounded look on face) : "Sniffle, weep weep."

After the applause subsided, said employee was spotted signing autographs and taking charity photos near the employee lounge.

Employee Lomas Rantana, a former developer with a local internet company, wonders "what the fuck he's gonna do now."

Although this is just another blip on the dot-com fallout radar, we must all remember that there are elevators all over the country being filled with employees who are jobless, and in some cases, homeless. Maybe that's what smelled.